Don't be Scared - Open up to Love

Uncle Neil, here for Hazel. Hazel has been busy with other things for a while and hasn't had the time or the energy (she is often not well) to devote to this blog as she would have liked. So I have stepped into the breech. Not as funny or as witty as Hazel but I'll try. Not as easy to do a funny walk, or come out with some of my daft sayings in writing. Hazel can write some up when she starts blogging again.

It's official, if it wasn't before, we are now engaged :-). Hazel now has her wedding ring too. I let her choose. Just as well the choice was £450 or £65. When she saw the £65, she was very smitten and who was I to persuade her not to have it. ;-). Getting married? Both a scary and enjoyable prospect for me being a bachelor all my life, and kind of used to my independence and freedom. But I have been working hard in the last few years to change as a person, to move forward in life and be open to what the universe has in store for me. I'm still not there but a lot further forward than I was 5 years ago. If I am ever going to be ready its now. And I've sold my house too so there is no going back.

But back to being open. Being open and honest with others is very freeing for me. Peaceful even. No more worries about if I said the right thing. I do try not to be deliberately cruel to be kind and am at long last learning some skills in diplomacy. The same applies to love, open up and let it in and you will feel much better. Don't be worried or afraid about losing love. If you have never had it, you can't lose it and if you are afraid then perhaps the relationship wasn't right for you.

Don't be complacent though, a relationship needs work constantly. No work and it can become stale. So make sure if you are committed that you make the effort to enjoy each other's company and don't leave love to chance.

Nobody said love was easy. But make it as easy as you can.

Love and its Opposite: Personal

Bad Love, other than being an album title by the excellent Randy Newman, is something most of us experience at some time in our lives. I have experienced it (and I’m sure I could be accused of being the giver of such bad times to others). It hurts, hurts bad. You give out so much, it is used up and thrown back at you – all the good extricated, ridiculed. Perhaps you feel you were stupid, used, taken for a ride.

The measure of us is what we do with that experience afterwards.

It is appropriate to have a period of healing, regenerating, wound licking, until we are strong enough, have grieved enough to go back into the Big Wide World again. What saddens me most is that people are sometimes so hurt and damaged by the experience they vow never to love again; never to let themselves get that close to someone again. It seems logical: why expose yourself to the possibility of such pain again? As I said in my last blog it is not hate that's keeping love out of their lives but a realistic fear based on experience. Often those people that totally withdraw are the most soft hearted of people who deserve all the love they can take and have that real love to give back.

Having been hurt and battered and turned inside out in pain myself I would always advise leaning on the side of trusting love rather than blocking it out. After all, due to the painful experience you are not now the same person that was used so badly. You are now wiser and have more tools to assess and protect yourself.

Seeing wonderful, loving people retreat into a closed tight and safe world is understandable but a shame. I am overly biased towards love. Many times it has only been love that has kept me alive and it saddens me that others should be cut off from its healing force: because love also HEALS. It even heals the damage inflicted by ‘Bad Love’.

I was so pleased when my partner, Neil, decided to set up an internet dating agency. He wanted to do it with real integrity. A way to bring sincere and honest people together to create a positive future. For those that are damaged and wondering what’s a safe way to proceed I would recommend internet dating. You can spend some time getting to know each other before even meeting. You can control your privacy and the interaction, keep safe until you’re ready.

We all deserve to be loved and to have someone to love. Please try the following online dating site and see how you get on.

Wish for yourselves what you’d wish for others. I wish the best for you.

~Auntie Hazel

Love & Its Opposite: Political

Answer the following question as quick as you can:

What is the opposite of LOVE?

Chances are you’ve replied ‘HATE’.

Some wise folk tell us that love’s opposite is ‘fear’. I’ve had many a contemplation on this (being rather slow in my thought processes) and it becomes truer and truer. Many would not deny that the western world is shadowed by fear: the terrorist attack from nowhere, instability of economy leading to loss of jobs/money/status, refugees infiltrating ‘my’ country, claiming ‘my’ welfare benefits, using ‘my’ money for their support. I do not have the best regard for politicians but I can imagine they are ruled by fear too: how do I keep in office, get re-elected, deliver promises, look as if I know what I’m doing? But what does that fear lead to? Sometimes aggression, attack, angry words borne of the need to protect oneself/family/goods. It certainly absorbs our energies, tires us, and diverts us from focussing on the good and positive or cultivating love for ourselves and others.

I have fear too. Especially politically. It is not good for me; it pollutes my vision of my fellow man. Like many in the UK I was scared when Bush JR was originally voted in for President. His re-election scares me even more. He rules the world. No man should, let alone George W. In the UK we are even more affected due to our historical and ongoing alliance with the US. When the US flatulates we run around trying to disperse the smell: at great human, financial and political cost.

As I get older (and God knows I’m getting older) I hope to become more tolerant, peaceful, all-embracing than the person of my youth. I’m not sure that, as we age as a species, we are growing that same way.

Best wishes ~Auntie Hazel

PS: Here's a GREAT site in response to the US election called www.sorryeverybody.com


Online Dating

Sign Compatibility

Love Calculator

Snogging Survey: A Nation Decides.

Well, me dearies, it's been a while since I blogged in but the greatest nation in the Free World (someone please define that for me) has decided it would rather snog Bush than Kerry. So overwhelming is the result that by the time you read this we'll have all forgotten who Kerry is.

So here we are again; we learn so slowly.

"God bless us everyone" (Tiny Tim)

~Auntie Hazel


Online Dating

Sign Compatibility

Love Calculator

Snogging Survey

Welcome to our first survey!

I am in the UK and our news media have been constipated for weeks with U.S. presidential elections. It has all been so exciting that I actually died during one telecast and couldn’t tell the difference. So please write in with your answers to the following, the only poll that really counts:

WHO WOULD YOU RATHER SNOG: BUSH OR KERRY?

(For those of you who have just thrown up over your computer keyboards Hazel and www.trustcupid.com accept no liability.)

Adios ~Auntie Hazel

Online Dating

Sign Compatibility

Love Calculator

Welcome to the 1st blog!!!!! (Necrophilia)

Hello, hello, hello! Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog is brought to you courtesy of my F.A.V.O.U.R.I.T.E online dating site www.trustcupid.com

Here I shall natter on about love, dating, relationships and all that stuff. ‘All that stuff’ usually means S.E.X. Unfortunately, what I know about S.E.X. you can write on the back of a postage stamp…

Folks often ask me: “Hazel, what advice can you give me to improve my sex life?”
I say: “Move about a bit!”

You may think that unimportant advice but, believe me, before I knew that the only guys I could get to date were necrophiliacs. I was BIG with necrophiliacs! I remember that with one guy I sneezed during the proceedings and that was the relationship over! “Aarrrrrrrrrgggghhh, you’re alive,” he screamed and then threw up. Actually that’s another good bit of advice: don’t go out with someone if you make them throw up.

So, take the above advice and go forth into the world, my children, knowing that you are now a red-hot lover who knows all about S.E.X.

Watch out for more hot dating tips from Hazel’s blog…

Adios till then!

~Auntie Hazel

Online Dating

Sign Compatibility

Love Calculator